dick so small i had to break out my zoomies
Me: *tells mean joke*
Person: thats not nice
When your roommate uses a Lady Gaga song as an alarm clock
*tells friend good news*
friend: “yeah but…”
Girl: Want to come over ;)
Me: A wizard just turned me into a duck.
Girl: I’m off my -
"OOPS I DIDNT MEAN TO USE THIS IMAGE OMG IM SO EMBARRASSED" lyin ass….
oh youre a son? name 5 of your parents