clvbpenguin:

dick so small i had to break out my zoomiesimage

poryqon:

Me: *tells mean joke*

Person: thats not nice

Me: image

harrystylesdildo:

When your roommate uses a Lady Gaga song as an alarm clock

image

jollygemma:

*tells friend good news* 

friend: “yeah but…” 

image

travelers-insurance:

Girl: Want to come over ;)

Me: A wizard just turned me into a duck.

Girl: I’m off my -

Me: image

thefuuuucomics:

Just imagine turning up to work
And knowing that it’s your job to slap someone with a fake cat paw

landorus:

"OOPS I DIDNT MEAN TO USE THIS IMAGE OMG IM SO EMBARRASSED" lyin ass….

muscleluvr2:

oh youre a son? name 5 of your parents